18 June 2009





I have been wondering why it is so hard to express to people what I want to do in the future. It's probably because of the fear that it'll come out sounding lame and that these dreams, so personal and dear to me, will wilt under the glare of public scrutiny. The words they don't form, and I struggle and end up saying something even lamer.

This song here has been a friend. It has sat here with me at my desk, while I scribble down madly all that it has got to say, in a frantic pause-play-pause sequence on youtube. It has given me a reassuring pat on the shoulder as a good friend would. And it has given me food for thought as a friend older and wiser would. Where the silence had, at many points, gotten so deafening while the chatter in my head persists, it has been a soothing antidote.

I'm not sure if I should translate it entirely because too much nuances gets lost in the process, and we know I live for these nuances.

Just these lines then...

在必須發現我們終將一無所有前
至少你可以說 我懂 活著的最寂寞


before we inevitably realize that we will eventually end up with nothing
you can at least say...I've known life at its loneliest





6:01 PM;

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I lean my head slowly to the side, reflect on the camellia on the moss of the temple, reflect on a cup of tea, while outside the wind is rustling the foliage, the forward rush of life is crystallised in a brilliant jewel of a moment that knows neither plans nor future, human destiny is rescued from the pale succession of days, glows with light at last and, surpassing time, warms my tranquil heart.

- The Elegance of the Hedgehog,
Muriel Barbery


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