The Lake of One's Being

18 May 2010

At some point in these rides Breavman would proposition himself like this: Breavman, you're eligible for many diverse experiences in this best of all possible worlds. There are many beautiful poems which you will write and be praised for, many desolate days when you won't be able to lay pen to paper. There will be many lovely cunts to lie in, different colours of skin to kiss, various orgasms to encounter, and many nights you will walk out your lust, bitter and alone. There will be many heights of emotion, intense sunsets, exalting insights, creative pain, and many murderous plauteaux of indifference where you won't even own your personal despair. There will be many good hands of power you can play with ruthlessness or benevolence, many galley rides of suffocating slavery. This is what waits for you. Now, Breavman, here is the proposition. Let us suppose that you could spend the rest of your life exactly as you are this very minute, in this car hurtling towards bush country, at this precise stop on the road beside a row of white guide posts, always going past these posts at eighty, this juke-box song of rejection pumping, this particular sky of clouds and stars, your mind including this immediate cross-section of memory - which would you choose? Fifty-more years of this car ride, or fifty more of achievement and failure?
And Breavman never hesitated in his choice.
Let it go on as it is right now. Let the speed never diminish. Let the snow remain. Let me never be removed from this partnership with my friend. Let us never find different things to do. Let us never evaluate one another. Let the moon stay on one side of the road. Let the girls be a gold blur in my mind, like the haze of the moon, or the neon glow above the city.

- The Favourite Game,
Leonard Cohen

I bought the book at Zee's recommendation and this part got me something bad. I suppose it's not hard to guess that I'm on the side of Breavman. Leaving for Hong Kong in a few hours, you can be sure this passage will be running in my head.

10:58 AM;

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